Artemis Fowl – Criminal Mastermind!

artemis eye acartemis with blue eye ac2

Hi Folks, Aidan here.

I think I may have mentioned that I love my local library and I love them even more for recommending the Artemis Fowl series by Mr. Eoin Colfer (pronounced Owen) which I started at the beginning of the summer and have barely put down.

The Fowl books are an adventure series with a twist. First meet twelve year old Artemis Fowl II (teenage criminal mastermind) and his six foot plus Eurasian bodyguard, Butler. Second, meet Holly Short of the LEPrecon, Foaly the centaur and my favorite character, Mulch Diggums – a kleptomaniac dwarf with a really bad, erm, flatulence problem. Then throw them all together in a series of high-stakes adventures both around the world and under it.

While I was reading the books I Googled some of the reviews. Amazon says  – “You will never think of leprechauns the same way again. Rip roaring, 21st century romp of the highest order.” And I have to say, I agree. Another review said “Think of Die Hard, but with fairies.” Couldn’t have said it better myself.

Basically, if you like twelve year old masterminds and fairies with quick wit and a tendency towards sarcasm – run, don’t walk to your nearest bookstore or library and pick up the Artemis Fowl series. I guarantee you won’t regret it.

Drawings by Tess.

Jokes on Tess

Tess for tickles

Tess loves to tell jokes. Here is her current favorite!

There were two nuns driving through Trannsylvania when Dracula appears in the road. The one nun says to the other, “quick, show him your cross.” So, the other nun rolls down the window, leans out and shouts – “Get out of the road, you toothy git!”

Tess’ Top Ten Foods – A Guide to Awesome Food

Tess wanted to contribute to my blog. She thought a list of her favorite foods would be a good start. So here, in no particular order, is Tess’ list of favorite foods, as dictated to me.IMG_9865

1. meringue (preferably with strawberries on top)

2. cotton candy

3. ramen noodles

4. curry (but not beef – you will find out why in India)

5. spaghetti – the longer the better

6. perfectly pink strawberry ice-cream

7. English sausages

8. double bacon cheese burger

9. chops, pork or lamb, doesn’t matter

10. anything pink


About 5 Cousins

Hi Guys, This is Lissy Puddleton and Spider here reporting on all things Lissy. So, here’s a little about my life. I am nine years old and live in Austin, Texas along with my four cousins, Cagney, Aidan, Olivia and Tess. Up until recently we led quiet, uneventful lives, but over the past few weeks life has changed in a major way.

You see our parents travel – A LOT which is good for them, but seriously bad for us. Because when they travel we all get dumped. And because we all live close together, we all get dumped at the same place … Grandma’s!

I guess you’re thinking how bad can it be? Grandmas are great, right? They bake cookies, they play monopoly, they let you stay up past bedtime and take you to the park. Yeah – not so much. Grandma Callie, it turns out, does none of those things. Grandma Callie is the antithesis of a Grandma, other than being forgetful. That, she’s really good at! We could take all day listing the places we’ve been left by Grandma, but that’s a whole other story. I guess it’s not all bad. Being an only child, even with Spider for company, can get kind of lonely, so it’s always fun to see my cousins – sometimes!

You probably met them already, but just in case you didn’t I’ll tell you a little about them …

The first word that comes to mind when I think of Cagney is diva. Cagney is never happier than when she is either shopping or being pampered. If there was a school credit for spending money Cagney would be top of the class.

Like me, Cagney is petite, with light brown curly hair. Sometimes people think we are sisters. Hmm! But unfortunately for her, Cagney’s curls have a mind of their own. Cagney wears glasses, She also breaks glasses. All I can say is, her parents must have a real good insurance plan. Don’t get me wrong, Cagney has her good points. She’ll always give you advice on fashion, which is okay, except you can’t argue with her coz she always knows best. Wait, this was supposed to be the positive things!

Actually one of the best things about Cagney is she’s a cautious kind of cousin. I like that about her. She’s also a great photographer. She really is. She wants to be a fashion photographer and if she could mellow out a little, she might just make it!

Olivia is the next oldest. She was born in May, at least we think she was. I think not knowing my actual birthdate might bother me, but it doesn’t bother Olivia. If I’m honest, very few things bother Olivia.

She’s pretty easy going. Some might say reckless. She could definitely do with some of Cagney’s caution. And Olivia always seems to be in trouble. Amazingly so, this doesn’t bother her either. I would just die if I got caught doing some of the stuff Olivia does. She would make a great gymnast, but there’s no way you’d get O in a sparkly pink leotard. In fact, there’s no way you’d get her in anything sparkly, let alone pink. But she really is agile! Maybe it’s coz she’s so tiny.

Olivia also likes dogs. They seem to bring out her sweet side. Olivia doesn’t look very Chinese. She has short dark hair, olive skin and unlike most Chinese kids she doesn’t have those typically almond eyes. I think she’s pretty, especially when she smiles and her dimples come out, but she’d hate me for saying it.

Aidan is probably my favorite cousin. Like me he likes to learn and can always be found reading a book, plus he’s way smart. I like that about him. But, what I like best is how kind he is. He’s never mean and that takes some doing with a sister like Cagney. He’s also very sensible and likes to weigh up the pros and cons before rushing into anything. You can really do with someone like him when you have Olivia around.

Aidan is not perfect, however. He’s never been picked first on any team, other than debate and traveling with him is always interesting. Interesting in the way that you never know if he’s going to make it without bringing up his breakfast.

Like his sister, Cagney, he has light brown hair, but dark hazel eyes. I’ve heard some girls at school say he was super cute, but he’s my cousin, so I don’t notice things like that.

Tess is the baby of the family. If you’re ever depressed just a few moments with Tess will cure you. The child is ridiculously happy. The glass is not just full, but overflowing where Tess is concerned.

Tess, like her sister, Olivia, was also adopted from China. She has long black hair and perfect almond eyes. Her favorite color is most definitely pink. If pink offends you, Tess is probably not the child for you!

I’ve mentioned that Tess is a happy child. I should also mention that she is also quite crazy – but in a good way (mostly). She’s also an exceptional artist. Of all of us, Tess is the artistic one. I’ll see if I can post some of her drawings – you’ll be impressed.

As for me. Well, I’m an only child, which is okay when you have so many cousins. I love to learn and I think people would describe me as shy. I can be, but not with my cousins.

And so, that’s the five of us. In many ways we are like your typical, every day American family. But thanks to Grandma, we’re also very different!